Boy Meets World.

I am slowly beginning to realize that ... I don't know ... that I'm growing up. Growing up in the sense that my childhood is officially over. Every decision I make if very vital to my future. And that's to every single aspect of my life. Not that every decision didn't effect me before, it's just more so now than before.

The people I grew up with are finishing school, beginning careers, getting married, having children, starting families. It's really hard to believe and to grasp. The same people that I played in the playground with are now playing in playgrounds with their own kids. Rather than showing pictures from last party, they're showing pictures from their ultrasounds. Instead of asking what time 4th period starts, we're asking each other what time are you getting out of work.

I constantly tell myself to get my shit together. I always try asking myself of what the mature thing to do is. The reckless, IDGAF lifestyle doesn't really work out in adulthood. I'm trying to transform every aspect of my life into a more mature state. What I eat, how I dress, tendencies, etc.

When I started college, I could tell my old, childish, high school lifestyle and way of doing things simply wouldn't fly anymore. I remember when I could ask my mommy for money and literally eat a whole box of pizza and not worry about gaining weight. Now I'm counting how many carbs and calories something has.

Freshman 15? How about freshman 25? I've gained 25 pounds since I graduated high school. Granted, I was pretty skinny and thin with some muscle tone. Since then, I've filled out that skinny frame. Working out and exercising isn't as easy as it used to be. That was a given in high school. I basketball practice everyday. Now I'm finding it difficult to even attempt to exercise.

And bills, bills, bills. I've recently begun to pay and finance myself, asking little to no help from my parents financially. I'm definitely learning how to squeeze every penny. Things I purchase with my own money are so valuable and mean so much to me now. I get so hurt and depressed when something I purchased is gone. I worked so hard for it.

I know all I'm doing is griping and bitching. But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that ... I'm growing up. It's definitely a trial and error, learning process. Everyone has to go through it sooner or later. All this growing up stuff has kept me away from blogging and such. If you really miss my blogging, all 4 of you, follow me on twitter?

jerome.
forever young.